If you’re like me and 3.28 million other people, you watch Good Morning America on ABC each morning. However, yesterday we saw something special. While reading a story on the passing of Jovita Moore, anchor T.J. Holmes cried. It’s not unusual for T.J. to show emotion on the air, he’s usually bringing excitement for his segments of “Tell T.J.” where he spotlights viewers who go above and beyond in their communities. But yesterday when the story was personal to him, he cried. As he closed the segment, he unnecessarily apologized repeatedly saying he “didn’t realize he was going to do that read that morning.”
These words of T.J.’s bring up a very valid point, when you choose someone to share news with are they ready to hear this news, or are you just Trauma-Dumping?
We all have something we’re going through, especially the last two years. However, when you look at it through the adage: we’re not all in the same boat, we’re in the same storm but in different boats; then you’ll become aware that maybe your bad day that you want to share with someone won’t be received that well because they’re having a bad week.
It’s not a matter of timing or time span either. It’s not a matter of you’ve both had a bad day, but they had one yesterday too. Or, you got yelled at by your boss but they had to yell at an employee. Or, your grandmother died but their dog died. IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!
We all need to vent once-in-a-while, there’s no harm in that, just make sure the person you deem worthy of your rant is in a mental and physical space to receive the spew, or you won’t be doing either of you any good. It never hurts to ask them if they have time to listen to you. You trusted this person to be there for you, let them really be there.