The Black Mamba is hanging it up for good. In a simple, yet stirring poem posted online, Kobe Bryant announced that he would be retiring after this season—his 20^th in the NBA.

It’s hard to forgive Kobe for what he did to the Magic in the 2009 NBA Finals, but boy, can I respect it. What he has accomplished since entering the league out of high school is nearly superhuman.

Five-time NBA Champion.

Four-time MVP.

Seventeen-time NBA All-Star.

Two-time Olympic Gold medal winner.

The list goes on-and-on. Kobe Bryant cemented his status as a superstar when he entered the pros, creating a highlight reel each and every night that he hit the court. Age may prove his humanity, but his larger-than-life persona and otherworldly skillset will define his everlasting legacy.

As Orlando Magic fans, Kobe, we’ve seen you terrorize us every single season. Your Lakers lured away Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard, two enormous stars that outgrew the confines of this town. Frankly, you can’t leave soon enough.

But as basketball fans, we’re sad to see you go. You’re unequivocally one of the greatest to ever step on the court.

Uh-oh. My family bought a deep fryer.

This is either going to be a revelation, or it’s going to be very, very bad. It’s an indoor fryer, but I may err on the side of caution and keep it on the back porch. I’m also coming up with a list of unhealthy foods that can be made double unhealthy with a coat of batter and a fry. Stay tuned.

We hope all of you have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving! We will be out of the office Thursday and Friday, but back at it bright and early Monday morning.

After suffering a virtual PR knockout blow courtesy of the 2013 documentary film Blackfish, SeaWorld has finally announced some changes to one of its parks. SeaWorld stated yesterday that starting in 2016 it would begin phasing out its circus-style orca shows at its San Diego location.

No more Splash Zone.

Pressure has steadily mounted against the theme park since the public became aware of its practices regarding the capture and treatment of orcas. I wrote a bit about the brewing backlash back in 2013, as numerous artists slated to perform at SeaWorld’s “Bands, Brew and BBQ” concert series began to drop out in protest. While the park was initially mum on the deleterious effect of the documentary, the numbers became impossible to ignore.

The park continued to report revenue shortfalls as attendance waned and enthusiasm over the company sharply declined in the eye of the public. SeaWorld’s avoidance of the PR nightmare turned to full-on engagement as it began to dispute the veracity of the documentary and chalk it up to a piece of activist propaganda.

Obviously that tactic was not well-received, so the amusement park is adjusting its approach.

This is not to say that they’re abandoning their orca exhibits altogether, however. The park has stated that it will instead pivot to a more “natural” vehicle for displaying its orcas—a move which has many in the activist community feeling dismayed. There will also be no changes to animal operations outside of its park in San Diego.

It remains to be seen if this will prove a rebound move for SeaWorld, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction PR-wise. If SeaWorld can shift the public’s perception away from viewing its parks as sea circuses and toward its conservation efforts, it could prove a company-saving move.

There are few things in life that truly make me happy. Traveling the world, punk tunes with power choruses, and the Atlanta Falcons with a winning record, to name a few. But above all else, nothing can brighten my mood more than a delicious Chipotle chicken burrito—and that’s why this news is so (incoming pun) difficult to digest.

Chipotle is dealing with an E.coli outbreak that has shuttered 43 of its restaurants in Seattle and Portland. So far, over 20 people have contracted the bacteria after dining at the chain, and its stock—and image—is suffering as a direct result.

Reports show that company stocks have fallen about $2.5 billion dollars since the outbreak was first reported, but the negative press may be the deleterious to the burrito chain over time. Chipotle touts itself as a “green” eatery—GMO-free ingredients, proteins from farm-raised, cage-free animals. Earlier this year they even halted the sale of carnitas (delicious, delicious shredded pork) when it was discovered that their supplier was housing its pigs in cages. Their reputation as a “natural” restaurant with organic ingredients is extremely important to their overall brand.

So what would be the last thing you want when you promote yourself in that fashion? Patrons getting sick from your food. This could negatively impact the Chipotle name for a long-time to come, because it casts doubt on their entire business model.

Most customers will tell you that they’d readily trade GMO-free ingredients for E.coli-free ingredients.

So that will be the struggle for Chipotle going forward. Will they be able to weather the storm of bad press?

Full disclosure: I’ll still be stopping in from time-to-time for a burrito as big as my head.

Bucking the modus operandi of many of its competitors, outdoor retailer REI has announced that it will close on Black Friday and Thanksgiving—and will be paying all of its employees for both. Instead of arming its staff to the teeth to deal with over-caffeinated consumerist zombies, REI is encouraging its employees to “Opt Outside”—to enjoy their friends, family and environment during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Finally.

I’ve never shied away from my disdain for Black Friday. There’s just something about 5:00am shopping mall stampedes and parking lot donnybrooks over Brookstone foot spas that doesn’t sit well with me. And as Black Friday has snowballed into Black November over the past few years, it seems that all the savings has sucked the life out of what should be one of the best months of the year.

REI has said “No more!”

Along with giving their 12,000+ employees a couple of paid days off and sparing them for the mental anguish and physical perils of hordes of wild-eyed shoppers, they are essentially saying to the public, “This has gone too far.”

The line in the sand has been drawn, and REI is challenging other likeminded retailers to join them in their Black Friday conscientious objection. As the tide has begun to turn regarding peoples’ opinion of Black Friday, we may begin to see more companies shut their doors as well.

But if you were really looking forward to purchasing a pair of discount snow shoes at REI on Black Friday, never fear—the retailer will still have deals on their website.